If you followed our suggestion like a good reader and feasted your hungry eyes on the first part of this insightful and long overdue article, you’d know that time is basically the same thing as money.

Now if you haven’t read that all-important first part, then you might be thinking something like “OH YEAH? If time is money than how come I can’t use it to get that pack of Twinkies out of the vending machine?” But that’s YOUR problem. Sorry, but we can’t solve ‘em all.

Part One ended with the assertion that negotiating a retainer is the best way to get your money’s worth out of an agency. And now, if you’re prepared to receive it, shall come the deep and meaningful rationale. ARE YOU READY FOR THE WHY?

There’s a certain air of mystery surrounding what people in an ad agency actually do. While TV and movies might try to convince you that agency people spend the day drinking hard liquor and staring out the window while smoldering with unbridled sex appeal, that’s simply not true. We don’t all have windows.

Much of the mystery probably stems from the fact that people outside of the industry never get to see the hard, grueling work that gets done every day by the drunks and miscreants that populate ad agencies like this one. They just see the end result, which is gonna be less impressive if you ignore all that goes into it. That’s why this blog is here: To give you your own personal window into the magical world of advertising.

What the hell are you REALLY paying an agency for, anyway?

Time is money. Let’s just accept this as true. We can go on about it, but it would be a waste of time. Which is actually money. Whatever. Let’s try not to waste either one, okay?

When you hire an advertising or marketing agency, you commit to spending money. On what? An ad campaign? Artwork? Words?

Business intelligence shouldn’t be a paradox. It’s your ticket to ROI.

“Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half.” - John Wanamaker

Back in 1861, as the U.S. was just getting the Civil War underway, a 23-year old Philadelphian named John Wanamaker was opening his first department store with his brother-in-law. His store was founded on the revolutionary principle: “one price and goods returnable," which kind of made him an early version of Amazon.

NEWS FLASH: Everyone who’s ever had a website wants people to find it. And that’s pretty much where the trouble begins.

Because chances are that your website isn’t the only website to do whatever your website thinks it’s doing. In fact, there are probably THOUSANDS of websites trying to do the same thing. The Internet is a pretty big place.

Now you’re choosing like a real chooser!

First of all, if you haven’t read PART ONE of this keenly insightful guide, then you need to hang your head in shame. But mostly, you need to read it, because it’s going to help you decide whether to bring agency services in-house. Perhaps you can read it with your head hung in shame and accomplish both. Whatever works.

This is important, so just pretend this is a video and pay attention.

We have seen the future, and surprise, surprise, it’s video. Yes video. We are literally writing a blog post about video. (Don’t worry, the irony of this is not lost on us)

HINT: The answer ISN’T “eenie, meenie, miney, moe.”

It seems like an easy question. Until you try to answer it.

Maybe you think it’s about creativity. But what about experience? Results? What about cost?

Or maybe it doesn’t. But it probably does.

We know what you’re thinking. “How can this stupid blog know anything about my brand? It hasn’t even seen it!”

Well, either this blog is some omniscient, magical creature that can see through time and space with uncanny precision, or brand happens to be something that most people simply do not fully understand. You decide.

WE ARE TOTALLY READING YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW. Indeed, here we are, sifting through your hopes and desires and…guess what? It looks like you want more business. Imagine that!

Did we just blow your mind? Are you going to tell all your friends about the amazing mind reading agency now?